-You tested your own selves. You knew somethings were not good for you, but you kept insisting that nothing would happen. You kept testing yourself. You made it hard upon yourself.
-You then kept procrastinating. You kept thinking that you will fix yourself later. And then when later, you said later. And you kept procrastinating.
-Then your procrastination led you to start having doubts about what you believed in. Because that was much easier than actually fixing yourself.
Your lack of quality in belief led you to a lack in quantity. Reality became a joke to you. You started having doubts.
-And then not long after, you started justifying life as it was continuing. You started hoping false hopes. Hoping false hopes became an automatic action in your mind after you kept pushing away the concept of reality.
-But then it hit. The very thing you kept pushing away is here.